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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?