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I am someone who believes that it is forever an option to change. I think you can in fact train a seasoned creature, on the condition that the old dog is receptive and eager for knowledge. As long as the person is willing to admit when it was in error, and work to become a better dog.

Well, admittedly, I am the old dog. And the skill I am working to acquire, even though I am a creature of habit? It is an important one, an issue I have battled against, often, for my all my days. My ongoing effort … to grow less fearful of those large arachnids. Apologies to all the different eight-legged creatures that exist; I have to be realistic about my potential for change as a human. The focus must remain on the huntsman because it is large, dominant, and the one I encounter most often. This includes three times in the last week. Inside my home. You can’t see me, but a shudder runs through me at the very thought as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “enthusiast” status, but I’ve been working on at least achieving Normal about them.

I have been terrified of spiders from my earliest years (unlike other children who find them delightful). In my formative years, I had a sufficient number of brothers around to guarantee I never had to engage with any directly, but I still freaked out if one was clearly in the general area as me. I have a strong memory of one morning when I was eight, my family slumbering on, and trying to deal with a spider that had crawled on to the lounge-room wall. I “handled” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, almost into the next room (for fear that it pursued me), and emptying half a bottle of bug repellent toward it. The chemical cloud missed the spider, but it did reach and annoy everyone in my house.

As I got older, my romantic partner at the time or cohabiting with was, automatically, the least afraid of spiders between us, and therefore tasked with managing the intruder, while I produced whimpers of distress and fled the scene. If I was on my own, my tactic was simply to leave the room, douse the illumination and try to ignore its being before I had to re-enter.

In a recent episode, I visited a pal's residence where there was a particularly sizable huntsman who lived in the casement, mostly just stationary. In order to be less fearful, I imagined the spider as a her, a girlie, part of the group, just relaxing in the sun and listening to us yap. Admittedly, it appears rather silly, but it had an impact (somewhat). Alternatively, the deliberate resolution to become less scared worked.

Regardless, I’ve tried to keep it up. I contemplate all the logical reasons not to be scared. I know huntsman spiders pose no threat to me. I recognize they prey upon things like insect pests (creatures I despise). It is well-established they are one of nature’s beautiful, harmless-to-humans creatures.

Unfortunately, however, they do continue to walk like that. They propel themselves in the utterly horrifying and somehow offensive way imaginable. The sight of their numerous appendages transporting them at that terrible speed triggers my ancient psyche to enter panic mode. They ostensibly only have a standard octet of limbs, but I am convinced that increases exponentially when they are in motion.

However it cannot be blamed on them that they have frightening appendages, and they have the same privilege to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. My experience has shown that implementing the strategy of working to prevent have a visceral panic reaction and flee when I see one, attempting to stay still and breathing, and intentionally reflecting about their positive qualities, has proven somewhat effective.

Simply due to the reality that they are hairy creatures that move hastily at an alarming rate in a way that haunts my sleep, doesn’t mean they merit my intense dislike, or my shrieks of terror. I can admit when I’ve been wrong and driven by irrational anxiety. I’m not sure I’ll ever make it to the “trapping one under a cup and escorting it to the garden” stage, but one can't be sure. A bit of time remains within this seasoned learner yet.